Watch Out for the Vultures
It brings me great sadness to bring this topic up, but I feel it’s necessary. Maybe someone’s eyes will be opened in time.
Once certain people see what might be coming — a possible inheritance, life insurance, or valuable belongings — their thoughts can turn to what they can gain. It could be a relative, an in-law, a distant cousin, or someone no one has even met before. Many are ready to pounce when it comes to money, property, or control.
This can happen regardless of who is named Executor of an estate. What matters most, legally, is who is listed as the beneficiary of life insurance policies and certain bank accounts. That designation overrides almost everything else.
When someone is dying — scared, weak, under pressure — this is when the vultures often move in. In my case, I was focused entirely on caring for Brad. There was no way I was going to bring up money, possessions, or our home while watching the person I loved slip away.
In the background, others were thinking about guitars, equipment, and anything else of value. Then came questions about life insurance and the will. To this day, I never received a clear answer about who ended up with Brad’s life insurance. At one point, someone even admitted they had it — then later denied any knowledge, likely after realizing there was nothing I could do.
I was Brad’s wife and Executor of his estate. In the end, that title meant nothing.
For a few days, I wasn’t with him — recovering from surgery and unable to travel. During that time, he was extremely sick, emotionally fragile, and under the influence of alcohol. He signed his life insurance policy over to someone else.
I now understand how important it is to protect yourself early. Have the hard conversations. Get the paperwork in order while everyone is healthy. And be extremely mindful of who is around if health takes a turn.
Hospitals often have chaplains, brothers, sisters, or nurses who are also notaries and can be trusted to witness documents. This is crucial because the last written will is what stands in court, and a named beneficiary overrides estate plans. A single signed page — even one witnessed by a nurse — can replace all prior plans, and the previous executor is left to fight an uphill battle.
Some people will do anything for money. They may smile in public and pray in church, but behind the scenes, they scheme.
In my experience, trust was betrayed. Mail was redirected without my permission, likely so I wouldn’t see beneficiary change paperwork in time. This happened while I was at the hospital, trying to preserve Brad’s life and ease his pain.
If they could have, they would have taken everything and left me with nothing. Later, I discovered emails that confirmed the manipulation and deceit. By the time I uncovered the mail redirection, the proof was gone.
I fought with all my might for Brad. But when it came to money, none of it mattered. Lies were spread about me — even to my own family — to justify what had been done.
So please… watch out for the vultures.
Wolves in sheep’s clothing are real.
⚠️ Note: This is a personal account based on lived experience. It is not legal advice. For matters involving wills, estates, or beneficiaries, consult a qualified attorney.